story sketch: catching the fehinnan weapon

[meeks]

This is a sketch of what was voted by readers of Karen Wehrstein's Philosopher in Arms to be Chevenga's coolest move in the Arkan war. After another battle lost to Chevenga's army, a fleeing Mahid has thrown a Fehinnan weapon, a delicate sphere which, if shattered would release a deadly gas, killing rider, horse, and anyone else unfortunate enough to to be close enough. Chevenga barely manages to catch it intact when his horse helpfully rears up and throws him off...



previous version:


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Comments

Compositional feedback

[(Anonymous)]

Hi Meeks, it's me (Karen) with a suggestion:

Move the horse a little to the left and/or inverse Chevenga to the right... you'd be able to show more of the horse so he'd be that much more distinct. I think I'm seeing a foreleg there, but it takes a bit to figure out, whereas if even just a bit more of it showed it would be obvious.

Little costume detail I forgot to mention: when he's carrying a shield, he has his shortsword slung on his left hip, for a right-handed draw in case he loses the longsword.

My cartoonist's instincts are saying his face should look way more alarmed, but... well it depends on whether you're going for humour or impressiveness. If it were a photo the expression would be about that, though I think he'd have his mouth a little open.

Re: Compositional feedback

[meeks]

Thank you! That's specific, and very helpful. Luckily Chevenga and the horse are on separate layers in ArtRage, so moving them a bit won't be a problem :) Reversing the sword and daggers shouldn't be too difficult either.

Which would you prefer for the expression? It's still early, so it's easy enough to make changes!

Re: Compositional feedback

[(Anonymous)]

Well, his eyes look pretty intense so I bet if you had his mouth open enough to show a little tooth it would be perfect.

Suggested addition--in the background, the group of fleeing Arkan horsemen (including the Mahid... who's looking back to see if his gambit worked, of course.) They don't have to be all that distinct.

Re: Compositional feedback

[meeks]

Fleeing horsemen are already planned! The slightly darker scribble in the background is just to remind me where to place them. :)

Re: Compositional feedback

[(Anonymous)]

Ah. I was wondering what that squiggle was doing there. I should have guessed.

The horse's head and Chevenga's helmet plume being cut off -- is that part of the composition or an artifact of scanning?

Version the First is already posted on my site. (http://chevenga.com/node/1252)

Re: Compositional feedback

[meeks]

No scanning...this is all digital! The horse's head being cut off is an artifact of resizing, and the plume is cut off because I didn't realize it was that long when I sketched him in. :P I can try playing around with the size of the figures some more if it bothers you.

Thanks for the signal boost!

Re: Compositional feedback

[(Anonymous)]

All digital? Cool! Curious, can you tell me what your rig is?

Re: Compositional feedback

[meeks]

I use ArtRage Studio Pro, and an old Wacom Graphire.

Re: Compositional feedback

[karen_wehrstein]

Just to claim responsibility: all comments up to here on this thread that are not Meeks's are mine.

Re: Compositional feedback

[karen_wehrstein]

I have managed to do my digital art without a Wacom, which possibly is stupid. Software of choice, Corel PhotoPaint.

Re: Compositional feedback

[karen_wehrstein]

I think the plume being cut off on the bottom works okay, the horse's head being cut off at the top, less so. I guess because it's an important part of the horse. You could also maybe show the white of the horse's left eye... I think... (can't know without trying it).