story sketch: catching the fehinnan weapon
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012 11:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meeksThis is a sketch of what was voted by readers of Karen Wehrstein's Philosopher in Arms to be Chevenga's coolest move in the Arkan war. After another battle lost to Chevenga's army, a fleeing Mahid has thrown a Fehinnan weapon, a delicate sphere which, if shattered would release a deadly gas, killing rider, horse, and anyone else unfortunate enough to to be close enough. Chevenga barely manages to catch it intact when his horse helpfully rears up and throws him off...
previous version:
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previous version:
This picture is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License, and may be freely used under the terms of that license with a link back to mikaspace.net Please see terms of use for details.
Click to sponsor this sketch and support the artist!
Feedback and contributions of any amount are greatly appreciated :)
Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 01:02 am (UTC)Move the horse a little to the left and/or inverse Chevenga to the right... you'd be able to show more of the horse so he'd be that much more distinct. I think I'm seeing a foreleg there, but it takes a bit to figure out, whereas if even just a bit more of it showed it would be obvious.
Little costume detail I forgot to mention: when he's carrying a shield, he has his shortsword slung on his left hip, for a right-handed draw in case he loses the longsword.
My cartoonist's instincts are saying his face should look way more alarmed, but... well it depends on whether you're going for humour or impressiveness. If it were a photo the expression would be about that, though I think he'd have his mouth a little open.
Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 01:25 am (UTC)Which would you prefer for the expression? It's still early, so it's easy enough to make changes!
Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 02:09 am (UTC)Suggested addition--in the background, the group of fleeing Arkan horsemen (including the Mahid... who's looking back to see if his gambit worked, of course.) They don't have to be all that distinct.
Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 02:19 am (UTC)Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 02:31 am (UTC)The horse's head and Chevenga's helmet plume being cut off -- is that part of the composition or an artifact of scanning?
Version the First is already posted on my site. (http://chevenga.com/node/1252)
Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 03:19 am (UTC)Thanks for the signal boost!
Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 09:10 am (UTC)Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 09:12 pm (UTC)Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 09:38 pm (UTC)Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-07 09:40 pm (UTC)Re: Compositional feedback
Date: 2012-02-08 12:18 am (UTC)O_O
Date: 2012-02-07 03:30 am (UTC)Poor Chevenga, he's everyone's favorite punching bag.
My Favs coming together!!
Date: 2012-02-07 03:49 am (UTC)Meekie one thing I would say but would want Karen to weigh in on is the wristlets, I always envisioned them as having a lip to catch the sword strikes on... kinda like a flattened u... ummm or how to say... a rolled edge on them... not only of blocking but to give an extra Umph for striking with.... the actual chapter escapes me but I recall something about Esora-e "striking Cheng in the temple with the lip of his wristlet"
Other then that which is a "My head vs your head idea" technical things...
his fingers seem... stubby? IDK maybe it is just cus they are a touch blurry but they seem to be flat not curving around the ball or arching out from it... but I know what a PITA hands are... Hmmm ah it looks like they are shortened after the arms seem so stretched out.
the other one is probably cus of the lack of color but it is hard to tell where the wristlets leave off and vambraces start up.
Fan
Re: My Favs coming together!!
Date: 2012-02-07 06:04 pm (UTC)Re the wristlets, they do have a lip but I see them in the image; Fan, maybe you're imagining something a little different?
Re: My Favs coming together!!
Date: 2012-02-07 08:38 pm (UTC)Re: My Favs coming together!!
Date: 2012-02-07 09:16 pm (UTC)The fingers are supposed to be foreshortened, but that almost never looks right until all the shading is done. Hopefully it'll become clearer as I work on this some more.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-07 04:23 am (UTC)I was thinking the horse looks a little weird, and that his mouth should be open, but you already got that from Karen! I'm also thinking his fingers (including thumb) all look the same length? That might look better just with the lines cleaned up, though.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-07 09:17 pm (UTC)Your sixth comment!
Date: 2012-02-07 02:11 pm (UTC)All the best with this! And your art career!
Melissa
Re: Your sixth comment!
Date: 2012-02-07 09:19 pm (UTC)Another thought
Date: 2012-02-07 06:57 pm (UTC)Re: Another thought
Date: 2012-02-07 09:21 pm (UTC)Re: Another thought
Date: 2012-02-07 09:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-07 11:43 pm (UTC)Yay! Revision!
Date: 2012-05-02 09:54 pm (UTC)And you've fixed his legs... I think maybe he needs more distinct signs of fingernails on the right hand, though, so as not to look like an Arkan.
So now what do we have to do to inveigle you to do colour?
BTW in my own art world, I decided to do all my own e-book covers and have two of them done... anyone who wants to see them, go here for Book I and here for Book II. I decided I couldn't go on using the mouse for painting so I went out and bought myself a Wacom Bamboo Create tablet. I'm enjoying it so far though I'm finding it takes some getting used to.
Re: Yay! Revision!
Date: 2012-05-02 10:19 pm (UTC)There are still a few details to sharpen up, including the fingernails, but I'd kept you waiting long enough!
Would you consider trading, say a year of donor access for a coloured version?
I'll go comment on the covers on your site. 'Gratz on the Wacom, though! A mouse is okay for vectors and 3d modelling, but digital painting is a lot easier with a pen and tablet!
Re: Yay! Revision!
Date: 2012-05-02 10:26 pm (UTC)I just whipped off a little correction to a face with the tablet... aaahhhhhh.... would have taken me three times as long on the mouse... and I'm only just learning to use it.
Sorry I forgot to mention, the composition with the horse is better, his head not cut off and all of him further to the left so you can tell his foreleg is a foreleg, etc. His left ear looks a little big, though. Is that a faint smile I see on his face? "Ditched the idiot, phew" ;-)
Re: Yay! Revision!
Date: 2012-05-02 11:19 pm (UTC)I don't know if the Bamboo has programmable buttons, but if you do, I recommend mapping your most frequently used keyboard shortcuts to them. I've got one on my Graphire pen that I map to the spacebar in Photoshop so I can click and drag instead of scrolling.
I will take another look at the ear - you may be right. I would expect the horse to be more alarmed than amused, but it could be a weird mix of both!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 03:11 am (UTC)