story sketch: the henchmen's hitch [update: 09-14-2011]

[meeks]

This is a scene from The Henchmen's Hitch, a poem by ysabetwordsmith about what happens when a pair of not-so-evil henchmen named Nib and Brod try to bring their master a magical sword.





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Comments

[aldersprig]

Ooh, nice!

I like the sword sticking out of the wagon, and the path winding up the mountain. (I'd forgotten there was a gate. I had to go back and read it again.)

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

I love the way the mountain and tower stretch up above them with that winding road.

The horses are supposed to be black, and ... hm, proportionally, quite a lot bigger. I'm not sure how that would mesh with the other details though.
http://media-files.gather.com/images/d714/d350/d745/d224/d96/f3/full.jpg

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

I kinda like Brod's expression. He appears very physically powerful and clearly not human, yet he's still kinda not all that malevolent looking. :)

[kelkyag]

Brod totally needs to be bigger to wrangle that sword. :) Making nib smaller might help, too. I like Brod's vest.

[minor-architect.livejournal.com]

W00t! I'm glad to see Nib and Brod illustrated, since I enjoy Elizabeth's poems about them.

Yeah, Brod needs a few more muscles to handle that sword. In my original prompt, I think I described it as "a girder on a stick!" :D

[eseme]

I like Brod.

And I kept imagining Nib as a goblin, but he is apparently human. This helps remind me of that.

[aldersprig]

oh, I really like the cleaned-up version! I like how you shifted the scale. :-) And the horses look more horse-y

[kelkyag]

Aww, Nib is adorable! (I, too, keep thinking he's a goblin or something for no good reason.) I like Brod's nose in the cleaned-up version, and yay, barrel of grog for the hard-working troll.

Wow!

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

This looks amazing. There is so much new detail! Nib and Brod look great, the horses are proportioned better, and I love the spiky ironwork on the gate. *happydance*

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

Oh, very nice! I love how you brought the people out into the foreground, in terms of what I noticed first. I also like the additions in the metalwork of the gate doors.

If you do another iteration, you should add stone texture to the blocks in the stone towers. You could also add either foliage or some rocks as texture around the path up the mountain.

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

I like the recent update. The gate definitely looks more Mordor-esque and having the palace fill that upper left corner gives us the impression that it is immense compared to the first sketch. Adjusting the scale by increasing the size of the horses seems to work well, too.

[eseme]

I like the larger horses, and the expression on Brod's face.