story sketch: without fail [update: 07-27-2011]

[meeks]

This is a sketch of warsailor Brelig's encounter with a deathfin sea monster, from Without Fail, a new Torn World story by ysabetwordsmith:

Brelig swiped his sickle toward the bleeding eyelid again -- and the deathfin grabbed him by that arm, lifting him high above the ship. The sudden shock of pain frayed his concentration. Brelig swung in the air, blood raining everywhere. Then he pulled himself upward to swing the axe into the deathfin's eye.

cleaned-up sketch:


rough sketch:

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Comments

Re: Hmm...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>The way I draw definitely tends toward children's book style, and it is strongly influenced by Disney animation (which I'm still a fan of!) so that actually makes a lot of sense.<<

Sooth. I am a fan of Disney art (my partner Doug is a major animation fan too) and I like children's book illustrations. I think something about the combination of cute and creepy touches childhood memories of watching movies or reading books and being really scared in a fun way.

>> Adding more detail might shift it slightly, but my deathfin is definitely safe-for-kids type scary as opposed to the meant-for-adults variety...I'm content with that, so as long as you're happy with it too, we'll let him be a bit cute :) <<

I think it works. The deathfin might get clarified a bit, but doesn't need to be sharpened, if that distinction makes sense. The main detailed I'd refine, given enough audience participation, would be Brelig and the action on the deck of the ship.

I'm also amused that the cannoneer has decided to take another shot at the deathfin now that the neck is well out of the water and in clear range. It wasn't something that Brelig was in any position to notice, but fits with the story as another reason for the deathfin to drop him and scram.
Adding more detail might shift it slightly, but my deathfin is definitely safe-for-kids type scary as opposed to the meant-for-adults variety...I'm content with that, so as long as you're happy with it too, we'll let him be a bit cute :)

Re: If this gets to the next stage...

[meeks]

The deathfin might get clarified a bit, but doesn't need to be sharpened, if that distinction makes sense.

I think it does. I'll probably refine the edges a bit, and maybe add a hint of texture, but the shape will probably stay the same.

I'm also amused that the cannoneer has decided to take another shot at the deathfin now that the neck is well out of the water and in clear range. It wasn't something that Brelig was in any position to notice, but fits with the story as another reason for the deathfin to drop him and scram.

Yay! I'm glad you liked that little addition :)

Re: If this gets to the next stage...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I'll probably refine the edges a bit, and maybe add a hint of texture, but the shape will probably stay the same.<<

That sounds good.

>> Yay! I'm glad you liked that little addition <<

I enjoy it when people can extrapolate details from my stories that aren't specified in the text. It lets me know that I've succeeded in giving people a glimpse of another world. *ponder* And you're two-for-two doing that now. Yay!