story sketch: husband by hand [update:11-10-2011]

[meeks]

This is a sketch from a scene in Husband by Hand, a variation on a european fairytale featuring ysabetwordsmith's character Fiorenza the herbalist. In this story, Fiorenza uses her skill to help Bettina, a girl from her village who kneads to find a well bread husband.



previous version:

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Comments

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

The improved detail is good, especially on Bettina.

I think the background is too dark now, though; the table legs, skirt, even the herbs vanish into the shadows.

Re: Thank you!

[(Anonymous)]

the_vulture says (as LJ is currently too messed up for OpenID to work): I agree. Whilst I really love the addition of detail in this image, I couldn't help but think "Were they baking at night?"

Re: Thank you!

[meeks]

I thought they did work through the night, but I can lighten it up a bit...

[aldersprig]

I'm with Ysabet on the background getting too dark, but I do enjoy the smoky, sultry look Bettina has now.

Husband-bread looks suitably creepy.

[kelkyag]

The background is a little dark now, but I do like the lighting, especially on Fiorenza's face. Is there a wall right behind where the herbs are hung up, or is that a cross-beam and there's a larger space behind them?

Wow!

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

This turned out really well. I love the depth of field in the composition. The characters look great too. I have linked it on my blog and on the Serial Poetry page in hopes of attracting comments.

Most promising areas for refinement: the women's faces, Bettina's locket, and the leaves of the herbs. I'd leave the dough-man fairly plain since he hasn't been baked yet.

[aldersprig.livejournal.com]

I think you did really well with the dresses; they look accurately period to my eye.

And the heart necklace draws the eye very nicely.

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is wonderful - great work on the figures particularly.

...a girl from her village who kneads to find a well bread husband.

The puns did not go un-groaned at!

*laugh*

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I laughed so hard that my_partner_doug came into the office to see what was so funny.

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

To think I glanced over that...

Thanks for pointing it out. XD

[laffingkat.livejournal.com]

Hehe, your puns cracked me up. But I love this image! I think it's well-composed and a great representation of the poem, and I can't help but smile when I see Bettina looking at her husband-to-be like that. :)

[rhodielady-47.livejournal.com]

Groans!
Now we have a punster leavening us with laughter!
;D

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

Oh! I see Basil, and I think Rosemary, and is that third one Mint? Too cool!!

[mdlbear]

I'm guessing lavender.

[rowyn]

They're adorable! I love Fiorenza's expression/posture, and the way she's positioned behind and a little in the distance from Bettina and the breadman. It's a good composition.

Yes...

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

Looking at it again, I noticed that the gazes form an interesting arc, from Fiorenza to Bettina to the bread-man.

Re: Yes...

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

Agreed. The composition has a good visual dynamic.

[rix-scaedu.livejournal.com]

Another one where I went and read the original text because of the picture (and the puns).

Yay!

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

That makes me happy. I hoped that this project would have that effect, enticing meeksp's audience to investigate the various source projects, and outside audiences to come here to look at the pictures.

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

I really like the composition of this piece, with the three white regions ascending to the upper right quadrant. It makes for a visually dynamic piece. :)

[eseme.livejournal.com]

This is a great scene straight out of the poem. I do like the fact that Florenza is in the background, helping out as she does. That's very in character.

I also like the unique herbs.

[rix-scaedu.livejournal.com]

This one is coming up well :)

[minor-architect.livejournal.com]

Concerning the question of darkness in the updated sketch: perhaps most of the light in the room is coming from the oven, which is positioned somewhere off-camera and to the right? If so, that would explain the prevalence of shadows.

Would a baker of the period put windows into the room that contained his oven? Or would that have been logistically impossible? I'm not really sure of this detail.